Ever been curious enough to check the personals online? You might be looking for love in all the wrong places. Many of the ads, especially posted by men, are married, seeking a discreet affair with "no strings attached". Many listings in the Snellville area might raise a few eyebrows.

"Attractive, educated, sensuous, fun-loving married guy seeks discreet relationship with an attractive married lady. Seek someone to share some erotic moments of mutual pleasure and excitement. No strings attached. I'm 40, Caucasian, 5'11", 180, with brown hair, blue eyes, and nice dimples (so I'm told). I'm straight, d/d free, in shape, sensuous, and a very good kisser ;-) Can travel to meet.

Hobbies/Interests: Dancing · Dining · Movies · Music · Outdoor Activities · Sports · Travel

What is a fun-loving married guy? He makes it sounds so wonderful to be married, yet eager to find a discreet partner. And what kind of education does he have? A degree in Affairs 101? Did you notice he used the word "sensuous" twice? Maybe to convince himself, too! What about drug and disease free? How do you really know? Does he carry a certified copy from the health department? Who told him he has nice dimples? All the other women who responded to his ad and met him already?

These online seekers are not only creative in their ads, like a slick commercial, but they sometimes include a picture, and information about contacting them. One thing they may not have considered. What if a family member, friend of the spouse, or even the spouse were to find them in the yahoo or aol personals? By selecting very specific criteria, a person can search these ads and narrow the search to a certain age, interest. and sexual preference.

This new way of meeting someone should even frustrate the single population who does not frequent the bar scene. It’s hard enough to find a suitable partner, but when they see so many married men and women seeking affairs via the ads, it’s quite disheartening to think so many are unfulfilled and willing to post their picture to attract a partner.

"When was the last time you were good 'n' kissed? Can you remember a kiss that made you lose track of time? Affectionate but mismatched (still married) world-class kisser seeks tender woman for discreet love affair. Been disappointed? Me too. Does your heart yearn for a loving man with tender caresses? Sign up for my kissing classes - only one opening. :) "

What ever happened to actually meeting someone in person, putting a face with a name, knowing you are actually talking to a real person? This kind of online "dating" presents it owns cornucopia of problems for the people who want to be loved so dearly they will give intimate details to a virtual stranger, in hopes of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.

What kind of message are we sending to our sons and daughters if they see so many couples acting as if they need to have this "quick fix" over the internet, like their desires are waiting for someone, a total stranger, to make it happen for them? Even the ads that are posted sometimes involve group sex, or bondage, and it is alarming and sad to think these are serious pleas for satisfaction.

So, each individual must make his or her own choice whether or not to participate in responding to these ads. Sure, it could be remotely possible you could find that one special person, but odds are also better that he or she is married and looking to stray, or someone is posting bogus information just for kicks.

Just be careful if you decide to find "love" over the Internet. Is the information in the ads honest? Who knows, unless you make contact, and then meet in person? Will you be safe? How do you know you aren’t dealing with a sexual predator, rapist, or some mentally insane person? Scary, isn’t it? Think twice, before you take these ads seriously.

Wendy Nelson

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